Random feeling

Friday@ 280809,

This post is gonna be so vain. School starting in 2 days time and i really can't wait for it. I miss my babes, miss my school that always surrounded by lots of laughter. I think i seriously need some catch up with my friends especially my babes before i got totally forgotten real soon. I've been rotting myself for some time due to the super long holidays. Aww, miss u all! 

I do feel down whenever i started to pack my things. I do love my school and my friends. However, i'm still seriously couldn't accept my accommodation. Yes, you're right, i'm still staying with my relatives. Well, i do have the thinking of moving out but it ended up with lots of excuses from my parents. *sob*

I hate rules, hate doing everything just to please my parents although i don't think they are right all the time. But parents always think that they will never make mistake and not want to compromise. Beside that, i felt so useless leading my holidays aimlessly with the same routine and bored lifestyle everyday. Sometimes i just like to be alone learning to lead my life and be independent by myself. Although my daddy mummy still don't accept that their daughter has already grown up, although i don't even have any private space for myself, i still love you both lots.

I can't wake up late no matter what time i slept at night, i can't wear whatever i want to, i can't go out anytime and with whoever i want to, i have curfew only until 10pm, i can never bring my house keys out because they will wait for me till i'm back. I can't put on nail polish with make-up which no one else think it's thick except them. From head to toe, i'm being controlled. Till now, my second year studying out-station, i have to be on the phone with daddy and report everything if not i'll get slaughtered. 

They want everything so perfectly that they can't see i'm suffocating. They plan everything for me that they neglected my own perceptions. They protect me so much that i'm living in my own fantasy world that i don't know how to face and solve problems when i've got one in the real world. Sometimes i envy my friends who can talk everything with their parents when i can only mention education and nothing else. But still, i know that's the way certain people express their love. Lots of love! Somehow, i still love them just like how they love me. *Hugs*

Well, no camera today, thus no photos taken! *grin*

I'll be back soon!

xoxo